Stella d’ Oro Lily photo by James Cummings
Today, we celebrate Mother’s Day. If you are a mother, you know both the joy and heartache that can go along with the title. First, if you are a biological parent, not an adoptive one, then you have experienced the anticipation, fear, and joy at the process of becoming a mother. The mind has a way of dismissing the memory of the pain involved, as one concentrates on the survival of the new offspring. There are many choices along the way, and any good parent puts a lot of thought into what is best for the youngster.
As babies evolve into children who can interact with us, we take pleasure in their abilities to use language, to walk on their own, and to begin to have little friends. Still in the stage where the world revolves around their own little worlds, children are subject to frustration and trauma when not everything goes their way. They have to suffer through the experiences of being pushed down in the playground, being physically assaulted by bullies at school, and having to conform to expectations.
Teenagers are in a world of their own as they distance themselves from parents, in the hope of becoming their own person, separate and distinct from those who nurtured them in their early years. Of course, hormones rule the day, as does a new preoccupation with “looks,” cars, and the opposite sex. College looms ahead, a make it or break it situation. Peer pressure rules the day when students become involved in unacceptable behaviors such as “hazing others,” using alcohol, or taking drugs. Parents worry but most often, cannot actively intervene, and sometimes do not even realize what is happening.
When one becomes the parent of an adult child, new concerns arise. Will the “child” choose a loving mate, find a satisfying career, and be financially solvent? These days, many children move a distance away from their parents because of marriage and career, and the parent rarely hears from them. Sometimes, the “problem” is not the relationship between parent and child, but rather the active interference in that relationship by a “child’s” spouse who prefers to be the sole center of attention.
To be a mother is to patiently wait… for a phone call, for a visit, for some recognition of her years of love, support and care. To be a mother is to remember that it is a service job that may not be rewarded, here on earth. To be a mother is to realize that one has done her very best. The past, for good or bad, can never be changed.
As a mother, be good to yourself today. If you are destined to spend the day alone, read that book you’ve set aside while doing chores, pick up a needlework project that is fun, bake yourself a cake! Whatever you do, enjoy the day!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Patricia Cummings
