This morning, I received the gift of the following words from a lovely young lady. The poem she adds at the end of the letter reminds me of another song by Bruce Springsteen about “all that heaven will allow.” It is interesting how my words affect people in many different ways. I am happy that, in this case, the reader was able to feel validated in her present status. Thank you, “April.” The timing of your note is perfect for Valentine’s Day weekend. Take love at your own speed. True love can endure many obstacles.

Happy Valentine’s Day to All! This beautiful card is from our antique collection of ephemera.

Dear Pat,

I just read your article about bundling. I don’t really know why I’m going to tell you all about the relationship my “friend” and I currently have-but I’m so relieved that there’s a name for it that I can barely contain my excitement. He’ll be excited too. First of all, I should probably tell you that this friend and I dated and lived together for 3 years. We were in college and not ready to get married. The relationship started growing stagnant and then I had to move away for a job. We broke it off, almost 3 years to the day. We didn’t speak again for almost a year. We tried to be friends but ended up not being quite ready for it then. We went another 6 months without talking. However, when we started talking to each other again last July it was as if we’d never been apart. Our friendship has grown by leaps and bounds. During the last 3 months or so, we’ve started sleeping in the same bed together. We talk, and we cuddle, and sleep in each other’s arms-but it never goes any further than that. We know it seems *weird* by today’s standards, but we also know that, again, we aren’t ready for marriage. Taking it to that next level could ruin it right now. We didn’t really want to call it dating, either. That tends to imply that you are kissing and doing other physically intimate things. I should probably also mention that we aren’t particularly super religious people. I’m an Episcopalian. I go to church and sing in the choir every Sunday and Wednesday night. However, my particular view on sex before marriage is not as stringent. He would describe himself as “spiritual, not religious” and doesn’t go to church at all-unless I have a solo.

I know we aren’t “bundling” in the traditional sense of the word-it seems more like “bed courtship” to me. But I am SO glad it actually has a name! We’ve both always known that we were old souls. I just didn’t realize how old.

Thanks so much for your article!

April

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The article that April mentions can be read on our website –

Patricia Cummings