During the Civil War, Lydia Bixby was a poor woman of Irish descent, living in Boston, whose sons were serving in the Union Army. Historical accounts tell us that she received the following (now famous note) from President Abraham Lincoln who fully believed the story relayed to him that she had lost all five sons in the war:
Executive Mansion,
Washington, Nov. 21, 1864
Dear Madam,
I have been shown in the files of the War Department, a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.
Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
A. Lincoln
When Lydia received the note, it is reported that she quickly tore it up and threw it away. We know of its existence only because a copy was kept. Mrs. Bailey first came to the attention of the William Schouler, adjutant general for the state of Massachusetts. He contacted Governor John Andrew. who in turn alerted President Lincoln.
At first, she was lauded as a true Union patriot, praised for her loss. Yet, her fame was short-lived as the tongues of neighbors started to wag and suspicion grew. History has not been kind to her. Apparently, Bailey did have five sons in the military but not all were killed in battle. Two sons were dead by the end of the war; another one may have been a Union Army deserter. Some sources indicate that years after the war three sons were found to be still be among the living. Historians have tried to understand this woman and her motive(s) for telling such a falsehood for the past century and a half.
With no first-hand accounts available rendered by her own hand, historians can only speculate about her circumstances. Except for the note she received, history has little record of her at all. At the time she received the note, she still had a young son at home as well as one daughter (of three) and a grandson and she was supporting all of them. She died as a free patient at a local hospital and is buried in Mt. Hope Cemetery in Boston. Her gravestone has no name, simply the number “423.”
Books and recent movies have immortalized the letter itself. The unknowing continue to believe that Bixby lost all five sons to the war, a total misstatement that is unsubstantiated by fact.
Judith Geisberg opens her very riveting and excellent book, Army at Home, with a discussion of Bixby as an introduction to her discussion of the roles of ordinary women living in an extraordinary time. Today, on the tenth anniversary of 9-11, the story of Lydia Bixby was again evoked in one of the speeches. In the interest of correcting an historical misconception, I mention it here.
Patricia Cummings
Quilter’s Muse Publications

