In the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations of cooking, shopping and wrapping presents, I hope you will take time out from your busy schedule to think about life itself and who and what really matters to you. The greatest gift you can give yourself is a sense of inner peace, in spite of what is going on in the crazy world we inhabit. Step back for a moment from constantly being “tuned in” to entertainment. Leave your electronic devices, (yes, even the computer) to tend to themselves for awhile. In the greater scheme of things, you will not be missed if you take a little time for yourself.

As I have grown older, I have simplified the expectations I have of myself and of other people. I don’t dust as often. I sometimes leave a few dishes in the sink, if I don’t feel like washing them immediately. Not everything has to be in a perfect state at all times. After all, we are definitely not perfect people. We may forget to send someone we really care about a Christmas card. The world will not come to a screeching halt. It is probably more important to wish everyone “well,” in our heart.

The holiday season is not the time to revisit old grudges and resentments. Theoretically at least, it is a time of “goodwill toward men.” In order to attain any sense of peace, forgiveness of others is a prerequisite and a gift we give ourselves.

Tonight, I enjoyed hearing/seeing Michael Bublé and Thalia’s rendition of the song “how does viagra work on men.” I plan to have a happy Christmas this year and I believe it will have more to do with determination than anything else. This year, my motto is to simply “let go” of the need of any salutations from anyone and just accept whatever kindness may happen to come my way.

I heard a statement the other day that really rings true: “Sometimes you can make someone happy just by leaving them alone.” Yes, indeed, when relationships are discordant, what is the point of trying to make them work? After all, we are never given the chance to pick our relatives! If people never get together at any other time during the year, then what is the big deal about feeling as though one has to see someone just because there is a holiday? Part of living a happy life is letting go of guilt!

We should all concentrate on the many blessings we enjoy within our own walls and our own lives. Spend time with those who care about you and just try to forget the naysayers and people you would cross the street to avoid, if given the chance! When straining your brain to think of the “perfect gift,” err on the side of simplicity, remembering that the gift of time willingly spent with another person is truly the greatest gift of all.

As we continue to count down to Christmas and other winter solstice celebrations, I hope you are enjoying the season as much as we are. Jim is trying new recipes, the tree is decorated, I am hand-piecing a Double Wedding Ring miniature quilt (for which I cut out the pieces in 1991!), and we are finding time to enjoy the company of each other, now that a very active and laborious autumn is over. Happiness is achieved when one is so involved in being creative or engaging in some enjoyable activity that the quest for joy is forgotten, yet is very abundant and present nonetheless.

May peace be at hand,

Patricia Cummings

When one studies history, it is very easy to see repeating trends and to begin to understand the similarities of people, even when centuries divide them. What always readily comes to mind when trying to reach any overall conclusion about recorded history is the willingness of humans to persecute and damage others because of differing political and/or religious beliefs. Lately, I have been nothing short of disgusted, and moreover disheartened, by the escalating social tensions and lack of forthcoming remedies to the problems that face America today.

It is becoming more and more clear to me that everyone enjoys their own version of being insane. I am tiring of the world, in general, the “news,” in particular; and the agendas of other people, in specific. I am weary of the cronyism, the cliquishness, the cultivation of alliances only insofar as a connection can get someone “ahead.” I am fed up with the “users” and I don’t have to look far at all to see them and to read through their motives. Additionally, I am appalled by the “no-nothings” being pushed ahead based solely on whatever alliances they have made. Again, it doesn’t matter what you know, only WHO you know! This is, you must understand, not a new situation at all, just one of which I have become more aware as the years go by.

Personally, I am being to feel used up. It seems like the more one gives to “the world,” the more it demands. Rarely is there a thank you forthcoming.

People love to sit in judgment of others. They like to think they are wiser, or more skilled, or in some way, just infinitely superior to anyone else. Yet, if we stripped away the facades, what we would all find in each other would be scared little kids who, no matter how old they get, are still not adjusted to life. We are all insecure, no matter how much money we may have, what we have been able to achieve, or how much influence we believe we have. Why is that? The reason is simple! Any of us could lose all that we think we own in an instant, or at the very least, a part of our life that we have heretofore taken for granted including our health, a loved one, a lucrative position, a beloved pet, or material possessions. At any given moment, we are all teetering on the edge of a cliff with one foot on a pretty shaky rock that is about to let loose taking us cascading downward.

The only thing we can try to control is our own minds. I struggle daily to try to keep a positive outlook and to check-in with myself to make sure that I am still on the right track, still being true to my own self and what I believe. The fact of the matter is that to maintain cheerfulness, IN SPITE of the world conditions today, is a major feat. Despondency and a sense of defeat could easily creep into our thought patterns, if we allow those feelings to overwhelm us.

Perhaps the only way to “overcome” the world is to make it more narrow: to purposefully turn off the news and retreat to our “own little world” of creativity. It is only in the arts and in humanitarian endeavors that we can sense that we are still all okay, we have not yet “gone crazy” (whatever that term how does viagra work on men means), and that we can continue to be productive for at least another day. Luckily, we only have to live one day at a time. Life, taken in small increments, is do-able. While I enjoy still being “here” on most days, it is increasingly clear to me why man’s lifetime is so limited time-wise compared to the length of time humans have inhabited earth. We are part of a master plan and while we try to control our own destinies by our own efforts, intelligence and work, that goal is never 100% possible. We are, after all is said and done, the puppets of a Greater Being who holds the strings, and to some extent, we are all pawns in the game of life.

Raise a toast to life! Be happy! Rise above the fray to be all that you how does viagra work on men be!

Patricia Cummings

An Attitude of Gratitude:

Thanks to all the folks who “tune in” to my posts here, on my website, on Facebook, on Twitter and who look forward to all of my articles and books. I am happy to “know” you.

Thanks to the dozens of people who have written to me from Australia and New Zealand to straighten me out on my mis-identification of an emu on a quilt block. Now, I KNOW it is a kiwi bird!

Thanks to the postman. He brings me news of the world via magazines, letters, and greeting cards. I am grateful for the service and that mail no longer has to be delivered via Pony Express!

Thanks to the fine minds who are always searching for answers to better serve humanity: the founder of Facebook, medical researchers, politicians who care, philanthropists, and all who work for the common good.

Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me, all of my life. A kind word can go very far in helping anyone to fulfill a dream!

Thanks to those who wait on customers in restaurants. Even though they may be exhausted and their feet may hurt, they manage to keep smiling.

Thanks to those who still remember my birthday (even when I would like to overlook the fact that I am one year older!).

Thanks to past employers. They gave me a chance and ultimately shaped in some manner the person I have become.

Thanks to people who disagree with me or have been very negative, at times. Through you, I’ve learned tolerance and forgiveness and your thoughts have given me a chance to revise my own.

Thanks to those who help the impoverished, the very ill, and those who are actively dying. There is a special place in heaven for those who care.

Look around you. I am sure that you can think of many people who have made a difference in your own life. Even if you don’t thank them personally, perhaps you can do something nice for someone else, in memory of a kindness done to you. Today, write a note, make a phone call, send a small gift to someone you love. Your spirits will soar in anticipation of the happiness your action may bring. Enjoy! Savor the richness of life. It is very true: “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” Let’s try to get it right!

Patricia Cummings

No doubt about it. Unless people are dishonest or simply don’t care about others in the world, most have opinions when it comes to the hot topics of politics, race and religion. Some folks prefer to be silent publicly on all three topics. Others, historically speaking, have shared their thoughts with the world, in one manner or another. “Safe” way to do so is through the arts. Look at , “how does viagra work on men” with its disjointed figural representations. The abstract painting represents the discordance and chaos of the Spanish Civil War that began in 1936. Look at the lyrics of Bob Dylan, a now celebrated folksinger and song writer. At the height of his popularity, he was a “kid,” a war protester on the marginal edge of society. In one song, he told Congressmen to get out of the way “if you can’t lend a hand, for ‘the times they are a-changin’.” His friend, Joan Baez, sang the memorable song, “Children of Darkness,” another war protest song.

Indeed, the Civil Rights movement and the Vietnam war combined to make the 1960s a turbulent time.Today, the times are indeed changing, and not for the better. Spending is out of control in America. What is the main cause? The funding of the war machine adds to our national deficit daily, and is a total drain on our resources. And who does Congress want to pick on to help subsidize this folly? The poor, the elderly and those least able to care for themselves. A society is only as strong as its weakest link!

Political ideology that engages in a view of changing a world order via the use of violence is not matching facts. Instead of solving problems, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have only created a financial disaster that we now face. Some people want to place the blame on our president. No matter how good his intentions are or how clear his vision for the country was at the outset of his administration, he has been thwarted by those who represent their greedy, rich constituents who gain their own wealth by taking advantage of common American citizens.

Unregulated banking practices with spiraling interest rates have plunged many a person into a debt level that seems to have no end. Michael Moore, a “leftist” film maker, has documented the practices of Wall Street. Many of my own personal friends have been given a “pink slip” on a moment’s notice, and shamed by being marched out of their long-time work places, severance check in hand, and held up to ridicule of their co-workers (who also wonder if they will be the next chosen). It is a fine kettle of fish!

The trouble is, no one is paying attention to business. That fact becomes readily apparent in seeing signs along the highway: “Please – No Texting While Driving.” I asked my dear husband, “What idiot would text while driving?” He replied, “Teenagers?” Hmm… it seems to me that we are all “plugged in” to too great an extent. During her little speech last night, a speaker’s cell phone began chiming from a purse hung over her shoulder. We have to be “on call,” at all times. Other people who might want our attention are more important than the person with whom we are currently engaged!

The bottom line is that no one seems to be fully present “in the moment,” nor paying attention to the bottom line. We need to start looking at History in a serious way to learn lessons from it and stop repeating actions, such as wars that are doing nothing but harm to the people of our own country. We need to stop coddling the rich while we turn our backs on the disadvantaged, the veterans, and the elderly. Most of all, we need to hone our own skills of frugality and learn to manage our own resources of time and money. Maybe our small scale efforts will rub off on government practices.

Be well.

Patricia Cummings

Dyer’s Chamomille photo by James Cummings

I love it when people post thoughts with meaning, especially ideas that one can incorporate to live a better life. One such thought is this: “No one can call a day successful until he has done a favor for someone else that cannot possibly be repaid.”

This concept is totally different from another one I heard this week: “In business, it is always important when making any decision to figure out ‘what’s in it for me’?” – a phrase remembered by the acronym, WINFM.

To some extent, it is only natural for humans to try to calculate the positive consequences of any action, whether on a conscious or subliminal level.

I think I like the first thought better. Doing a favor with no expectation of a return of any kind is like “casting bread upon the water.” Karma, that great unknowable force in the universe seems to indicate that “what you put on the table is what you get in return” – the words of a Bill Staines folksong. When we help someone, whether that person is a friend or a stranger, we feel good about ourselves.

A Facebook friend asks, “If I am here to help others, why are they here?” I responded by saying something to the effect that “they are here to enjoy whatever we give them for free.” Even to myself, that seems like a cynical statement. Often, the ways in which we are repaid are intangible or will never be known. We don’t usually know when our favor has inspired someone to be kind to another person. At the moment, I am thinking of times we’ve pulled up to a toll booth and the car in front of us has already paid the fee. In current jargon, the act represents a notion called “paying it forward.”

Today, I’ve spent some quiet time thinking about the state of the economy. If everyone could implement kindness as part of their so-called “business plan,” we’d all be ahead of the game. If insurance companies and medical establishments or any for-profit businesses would stop trying to see how much they can gouge the public for needed goods and services, the better off America would be. Right now, the divisiveness is between the “haves” and the “not haves.” The “haves” are making it more difficult for everyone to live while they amass their monetary fortunes, in figures that result in more piles of pennies than I could even imagine.

What happened to the good old days when bartering was the watchword? There was more of a spirit of sharing rather than competition. If I needed a new pair of leather shoes, perhaps you could use apples from my tree or eggs from my chickens or I could make you some trousers in return… (recalling 19th century stories, in so saying).

The concept of “pay it forward” is a good one, as is the idea of sharing talents or services that can never be repaid. In doing so, you may improve your own happiness quotient. Works for me!

Patricia Cummings

The title of this little essay are the words of a song. To me the phrase, “happiness is seeing Lubbock in the rear view mirror,” could be extrapolated to sum up our feelings when we have completed any journey in life that we are happy has come to an end. The words speak of new beginnings, a sloughing off of a place or situation that no longer suits us for whatever reason.

Words to songs often have universal meaning and any words can be adapted or applied to describe our own personal situations. That is one of the appeals of lyrics: they cover universal themes and common human experiences. Often, we can’t wait to leave a particular place or a certain set of circumstances. We long to be “more than” we are today, or to have the opportunity to grow and to possess again a sense of “becoming.” We must look ahead, always, to the chances that life will afford to those willing to embrace change.

Sometimes, we are the agents of our own life changes. We can set ourselves on an open-ended path doing something we just love and never knowing where our efforts will lead us until the results become apparent further down the road. One success can build on another until suddenly the bulk of our work is amazing!

Often, we must leave familiar comfort zones and exchange them for something more daring. We can learn to take chances, unafraid, knowing ourselves well enough to realize decisions that will be “right” for us. What is “right” will vary with every individual who reads this. Decisions are always difficult and may include leaving some folks (or places) behind simply because they no longer enhance our sense of well-being. In today’s society, more choices are open to us than ever before and we have to be more flexible in order to maximize our experiences.

Unemployment and other life changes demand new directions. Only those who can adapt well and plan new courses of action will thrive and survive in the 21st century. All around us, technology is changing our old ways. We no longer need to buy watches. Most of us carry some kind of portable electronic device that will always tell us the correct time. This is just one small example, of course, of how the world as we know it, has changed just recently. Think about how many jobs are becoming obsolete just because of new technology that replaces the work of a “real” person.

To move ahead in our lives demands a clear view of where we have been. If we can’t make sense of our journey so far, it is doubtful that we can adequately make new plans for the future.

I have never been to Lubbock. The place may be getting a bad rap in the song. My point is simple. Change is necessary, if not a somewhat painful process, in our own lives. We have only one chance at living happily. If you are not happy, what is stopping you? Is it yourself?

This bouquet of flowers is the first one ever picked for me by my grandson. It qualifies for the category of things that make me happy.

Cheers!

Patricia Cummings