Take Your Usual Obituary …

How many obituaries have you read? Are they not consummately-boring? If you agree, then write your own and keep it updated and ready “for the right time.” Sure, you were born. You wouldn’t be here, if you weren’t. Do we really care what day, or what hour, or exact minute that happened? No, we don’t. Okay, I’ll clarify that. I don’t care. Obituaries could be more general, such as, “She lived 90 or so miserable years.” Close enough!

We know you had relatives. Some of them may have cooled their heels in jail. Do we need a list of these reprobates? I say, “No!” I don’t care who you were related to in life. Who were you?

Now, here comes the kicker. For what reason do you want to be remembered? I mean, what exactly did you do in life?

I don’t mean a list of college degrees. What did you do that makes you different than the other clods who sat in a classroom, perhaps listening to a nitwit drone on and on, wasting your money, the government’s money, or your parent’s money, on some topic you didn’t care about and will never remember anything about in twenty years? (No, I am not anti-Education, for the record).

Did you take what you learned a little further, beyond the knowledge from a preliminary survey course? Did you become a scientist, an inventor, a public speaker? What did you do that makes you special, a cut-above, someone who stands out in a crowd?

Writing your own obituary affords you a chance to have some input into lasting remembrances of what made you … you! If you want, include some of the more obnoxious things you might have done, like scaring the poor nuns by drawing pictures of a naked Superman flying through the air (like one kid I knew). How about the time you went snorkeling to see exotic fish life in Hawaii? Perhaps, you were “Cook of the Week,” in your local newspaper? Maybe you studied abroad, or traveled there to an exhibit where your quilts were shown. You see, we all have something unique about us. Perhaps you served in the Armed Forces, in wartime, or not. All of our experiences make us who we are.

I would like to see obituaries that go beyond the raw data, the peripherals of dates and degrees and relatives whom, by a fluke of nature, we happen to be connected. Obituaries are becoming shorter and shorter. It is worth it to pay a little extra for more coverage. After all, this is your last peep and I think the peep should be your own peep, not a peep from someone else who doesn’t give a peep. (big grin)

Think about it. I believe this is as important as writing your will, and like you will, your obituary should be revisited annually to see if anything has changed or any modifications are needed. Have fun blowing your own horn. Just remember, you are not writing a book, but for heaven’s sake, give yourself a decent peep before you “shuffle off the mortal coil,” “cease to eat crumpets,” and otherwise, look mummified!

Patricia Cummings
Quilter’s Muse Publications

Comments are closed.