Lately, I have been asked a number of times if I would give my permission for an essay I wrote in 2002 to be reprinted. The title of it is “Happiness.” Five years ago is a long time to remember what I even wrote then, without reading my thoughts again. In fact, it has been so long, I might even become inspired by my own writing!
I will revisit the subject a bit here. To me, happiness is never found when it is sought after, as an entity in itself, and for its own sake. Happiness is not something that happens to you. Usually, it is the result (or the pay off) for an action you have initiated yourself. If you “do the right thing,” or “give to others,” – those can be two sources of joy.
A lot of times, people look for happiness in places where there is none to be found. For example, it is a known fact that unhappy people sometimes go to bars and drink, hoping to find a happy person to engage for the evening, to date, or even to marry. The trouble is that most people who hang out in bars are unhappy already, and since alcohol is a depressant, they become even more unhappy as a result of drinking. Then, say, they get arrested for Driving Under the Influence. They may get fined, or they may even do some jail time. Then, they have a real reason to be unhappy. I don’t know why people get into vicious cycles like that which are so self-destructive and can result in the loss of career, or spouse. I’ve seen this happen and have indirectly been a victim of this kind of behavior, and I know from whence I speak. People are their own worst enemies.
In thinking about Happiness, it does seem to be a moral obligation to dismiss unhappy thoughts from one’s mind, if only to be more bearable as a companion or life-long mate. While it can become a habit to wallow in old hurts, old grudges, and old complaints, and you know you do that, as well as I, it is more mentally healthy to develop a sense of gratitude for both the big things and the little things in our lives.
Case in point: As I was about to unlock my back door today, a friend and I noticed that there was a flock of Cedar Waxwing birds feeding on the nectar or bugs (?) on the blossoms of the apple tree. We both stood there for a good five minutes, watching these beautiful, distinctive, lovely birds. Just yesterday, Jim and I saw a pair of Orioles in the same tree, sucking the sweet nectar. I felt so happy at these sightings, if only in a fleeting sort of way.
While it is difficult to maintain a cheerful attitude in the face of daily disappointments and frustrations, we can all rejoice in the unexpected, little moments of joy: a greeting card in the mail; an e-mail from an old friend; the fragrant smell of flowers in the moist, night air; the smile of a friendly postman…all of these happenings can “make your day.” If you want to be a blessing to others, try smiling. It’s universally understood.
Savor those little moments. Together, they make up the essence of life. As for the rest, ignore your enemies (we all have them), and make the most of all of your personal talents and gifts. The above statements are my “recipe” for happiness and are ideas gleaned from a lifetime in which I have, at times, been subjected to the most abject misery possible, including severe mistreatment at the hands of others, in situations beyond my control, to a time, now, when I am feeling content most of the time; grateful, all of the time; and as Garrison Keillor would say, “Happy to be Here.”
The best is yet to come.
Pat
